thoughts and prayers - black dresses

// is there any truth to what you tell me you know about me? i don’t wanna underestimate your intellect but something tells me there is something more to this go ahead and escape, a couple times a day, will do you good but don’t forget to bring yourself back to what you’re terrified of every single day ...yeah she’s okay i am not like you i wanna forget myself and be lied to i don’t know if anything is right i’m just a girl who can’t look herself in the eye i am not like you i wanna forget myself and be lied to i don’t know if anything is right i’m just a girl who can’t look herself in the eye and in my dreams i am somewhere where i can fall apart i can think nothing and only feel what i need to who fuckin knows whats up? who the fuck knows whats up? who really knows whats up? who the fuck knows whats up? thank god, thank god im not gay thank god, thank god im not scared thank god, its not fucking happening thoughts and prayers thoughts and prayers thank god, thank god im not gay thank god that i dont know anything thank god, thank god im not scared thoughts and prayers thoughts and prayers its the fucking worst isnt it? its so fucking cursed isnt it? its a fucking curse isnt it? thoughts and prayers thoughts and prayers these bitches just wanna watch us die they wanna pray over our dead bodies alive they wanna leave us alone we dont wanna fucking hurt anyone we just wanna feel anything before we’re done leave us alone we just wanna have control of our lives we just wanna get off feel safe and die and in my dreams i am somewhere where i can fall apart i can think nothing and only feel what i need to “so do..“ “yeah, we’re doing it.“ “okay. just give me a second, uh... when’s it start?“ “we’re—we’re doing it, right now.“ “ugh okay, fine—“ everything is movement, everything is hypochondriac and pieced together from the fragments of losing sight of what i thought you wanted me to be though i’ve tried and it almost killed me you cannot know this, you cannot pretend to be close with me psychosis batters at your worldview & gnosis whoa! it’s only been a minute and a moment and you’re already done! this is praxis. do you have anything to fight back with? no, you lack it am i making you worry? is your vision getting blurry? yeah youre gonna need glasses i burn so fucking bright but your eyesight only sees ashes i am long past this post-traumatic, manic consciousness blasted look in my eyes and see the person you damaged and in my dreams i am somewhere where i can fall apart i can think nothing and only feel what i need to pick yourself off the floor and look yourself in the eye leave us alone we dont wanna fucking hurt anyone we just wanna feel anything before we’re done leave us alone we just wanna have control of our lives we just wanna get off feel safe and die // footage: catghost i do not own this song, all music belongs to blacksquares/black dresses.