Hello Phosphine My Old Friend

A song about triphenylphosphine oxide. Lyrics: Hello phosphine my old friend I’ve oxidised you once again Because a spectrum softly is creeping Left its signals and now I’m weeping And that spectrum that is planted in my brain Brings me pain Within the sound Of science You dissolved in acetone So then I left you all alone ‘Cause they say that you are air stable Just sitting on my lab table Because my flask, was not completely closed You decomposed And screwed this round Of science And in the NMR I saw Three fucken multiplets, no more And at 29 ppm The biggest signal that there’s ever been And my tears, like violent raindrops fell That’s how you tell Its science And in the baseline noise I saw A dozen doublets, can’t be sure Puny remnants of my alcohol My fury it was palpable Another paper, that the authors can never share But I don’t care Turn up the sound of science My Mitsonubu’s now debris Just smears of OPPh3 And my Stille did not survive There’s nothing in there but some burnt oxide And my Wittig, you don’t even want to know I’ve got to go I’ve been rejected by Science And my students howled and bayed At the slimy shyte they’d made And the proton flashed out its warning Of the gas with which we’ve been waring I said “there’s O2 in our fucking N2 lines” Oh how they whined I hate the sound Of science