Kina Grannis - Future Memories (Official Music Video)
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in the early days of trying to start a family, i often let my mind wander and imagine what was to come—sitting with our baby in the sun, her amongst our family in the yard, jesse getting to be a dad. as the years went on, it became too painful to let these scenes in—letting in hope simultaneously let in a fear and pain so intense it was hard to stomach. so to protect my heart i built up strong walls between myself and that dream until i couldn’t even picture it anymore. sometimes i couldn’t even connect to wanting it, but something deep and quiet inside of me kept my compass pointed firmly in that direction.
“future memories“ fell out of me one year ago during a time of incredible hope and incredible fear. we were weeks away from our first IVF embryo transfer. three and a half years of infertility building up to a moment where maybe maybe maybe this dream could be realized. for the first time in a long time, this song let me go there. the scenes snuck back into my consciousness and out of my mouth before i knew to stop them, and by the first chorus it all hit me and i broke down in tears. letting the hope back in was a terrifying thing.
if you’ve followed along with our story, then you know that the transfer worked—we experienced a miracle pregnancy and for a short while we floated around in complete and utter bliss and gratitude and disbelief until we learned that we had lost it. the shock of such a high followed by such a low knocked us off our feet and we spent the next couple months grieving and letting go of our dream once again.
getting to release this song one year later, having mourned that loss, started over from scratch with IVF, wrestled with hope and fear some more and finally come to a sort of peace with the reality that this may never come to be, and now, being months away from welcoming our daughter into the world--it is surreal and incredible. this song was forged in a purely imaginary world, and now that world is finally merging with our actual lives. i couldn’t be more grateful. ♡
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—
“Future Memories” Lyrics
time and the arrow beckon me
hiding in the pages listening
and the stories all grow tired, tired, tired
so we photograph the way we felt
and we cling when it starts fading
still we know that we hold everything
you and the roses dance around
we’re in the garden smiling
i didn’t notice how much love i’ve known
the setting sun will pause for no one
future memories often lie
inside of all the hope, inside the light
so we follow every star and pray in time
you and the roses dance around
we’re in the garden laughing
i didn’t notice how much you had grown
the setting sun will pause for no one
we watch the leaves unfolding quietly
no tugging at the time or way of things
and we mirror both the growth and withering
you and the roses dance around
he’s in the garden crying
i didn’t notice yet that i had gone
the setting sun will pause for no one
—
Written by Kina Grannis
Kina Grannis - Future Memories
KG Records 2021
#kinagrannis #futurememories #acoustic #acousticsongs #singersongwriter
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