Henrik Widegren - A Statistically Significant Love Song - Live from the hospital
I have had my last patient for today so I will sing a song for you!
Music, lyrics: Henrik Widegren
Creative language consultant: Anna Holmqvist
Thanks to Skånes Universitetssjukhus
A Statistically Significant Love Song
Music/Lyrics: Henrik Widegren
Today. I found my love today
Everybody says they knew long ago
But I am not that way
I demand evidence before I say I know
Finally it came to me: My theory’s confirmed
In all my experiments I have seen a trend
The null hypothesis is not at all sustained
It’s very likely
That you are more than a friend
I love you more than the median
I am certain cause the p-value is
Our love is blessed by a t-test
I can prove to you: I love you
Yes, I have evidence that you have got a crush
The autonomic nervous system doesn’t lie
Your dermal capillaries dilate and you start to blush
And our pupil size correlation is extremely high
Your curves don’t have a normal distribution
And your eyes are in the top ten percentile rank
Come with me and you will see my logical conclusion
A love that is statistically significant
You love me more than my control group
Cause you see when we meet your heart goes boop, boop, boop
And your pulse rate accelerates when we’re on a date
You must agree: You love me
I look into your eyes and think of decimals of pi
And playing with your open spreadsheets makes me high
And now my hard y-axis grows and reaches up to ten
And touches my x-axis until we come to origin
I love you and we have the evidence
Other people’s love can be a coincidence
They want flowers but we want
Hard statistical power
It’s the best breakthrough
I love you
And no one can doubt it
We can shout loud that we’re in love and proud
We have proofs in stacks
And no alternative facts
I can prove to you
That I love you
That I love you…
Verse
A9F#mD9E A9F#mD9E A9F#mD9E A9F#mD9E
Chorus
AEF#mD AEF#mD AC#mDBm DEAA
Bridge
DF#mBmA DF#mBmE
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