Parents Being Told Their Son Died In Vietnam. The Toughest Job In The Military
The United States military has a specific protocol for notifying the next of kin when a soldier died in service. During the Vietnam War this protocol involved an official representative of the Department of Defense making a personal visit to deliver the news in person. This was a difficult task and it was generally carried out with great respect and consideration for the families involved. Here is how this usually happened.
The military would confirm the death and identify the next of kin of the fallen soldier.
A Casualty Assistance Calls Officer (CACO) would be assigned to deliver the notification. This individual is usually of equal or higher rank than the deceased service member.
The officer would travel to the family’s home to deliver the news in person. The news was generally delivered as soon as possible, typically within 24 hours of the service member’s death being confirmed. The CACO would arrive at the family’s home, preferably during daylight hours. They would identify themselves and ask to speak with the next of kin (often the parents in the case of a single soldier or the spouse if the soldier was married).
They would ask to come in and sit down before delivering the news. They would begin by confirming the identity of the person they were speaking with and then, in clear and direct language, inform them of the death.
If the circumstances of the soldier’s death were known, the CACO would share them. They would also inform the family about any recovery or identification efforts that had taken place.
After the initial notification, the CACO would continue to serve as the family’s primary point of contact with the military. They would assist with arrangements for the funeral, transportation of the body, paperwork for benefits, and any other issues that arose.
It’s important to note that the CACO’s role was not only to deliver the news but also to offer support and assistance to the bereaved family during their time of grief. They would be there to help the family navigate the logistics that came with the death of a soldier, from planning the funeral to accessing survivor benefits. The goal was to ease the burden on the family as much as possible in the wake of their loss.
The military would also provide a flag-draped coffin for the deceased, and they would pay for transportation of the body to the place chosen by the next of kin for burial.
The family would receive death gratuity payment, and they would be eligible for additional benefits such as a burial in a national cemetery, a headstone or marker, and a burial flag.
This was, and continues to be, a very serious and difficult duty. The people who deliver this news are trained to do so with great respect, empathy, and consideration for the families they are visiting.
Although each notification was a unique and deeply personal experience, the general process was standardized to provide a sense of uniformity and respect. One of the famous depictions of this was dramatized in the film “We Were Soldiers“ (2002), based on the book “We Were Soldiers Once... and Young“ by Lt. Gen. Harold G. Moore (Ret.) and journalist Joseph L. Galloway.
In the film the U.S. Army’s method of casualty notification during the early part of the Vietnam War is portrayed as deeply flawed. The film shows taxicab drivers delivering telegrams that announced a soldier’s death, causing shock and grief in the community.
After witnessing this, a character named Julia Moore, the wife of Lt. Col. Hal Moore, takes it upon herself to personally deliver the telegrams to the wives of the fallen soldiers. While this is a dramatization and may not be completely accurate, it does highlight the immense emotional toll that such notifications can take on all involved.
Later in the Vietnam war the U.S. Army revised its process to the more personal and supportive approach that’s used today with Casualty Notification Officers delivering the news in person and providing immediate assistance and support.
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