What Are You Doing WRONG in Your Spiritual Development?
Why do we go through the states of emptiness and despair on the spiritual path? What is the driving force that nature uses to develop us? What is the transitional point between egoistic and altruistic fulfillment? How can we learn to work for ever-growing and increasingly unsatisfied egoistic desires in us? How can we feel that nature does everything to us purposefully?
When we increasingly feel more lonely, lost, empty, and desperate as a result of studying Kabbalah, we are not doing anything wrong. This is how we are supposed to feel.
Our development is about the needs and deficiencies we have. This is the force nature uses to develop us. This need and deficiency shape our experience of reality and determine the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
The whole point of moving ourselves from being motivated only by personal fulfillment is to allow for the positive experience of what you are calling “emptiness.” This is part of the natural process through which nature pushes and pulls us to have a desire for what nature wants to give us.
You are at a transitional point.
On the one hand, we have all the things that presently distract us and that are all imaginary anyway, and as long as we focus solely on our self-satisfaction, all we receive is pain and dissatisfaction instead of receiving true satisfaction. On the other hand, you are moving towards fulfillment that concerns the basis and purpose of life.
But you are not there yet where you can perceive in yourself what these new desires and their fulfillment are, and you do not yet feel and understand that this requires you to work together with other people. But you are also no longer in the material desires and fulfillment which is our inherent state. You are at a transitional point, in an emptiness that is the creation of a new vessel that will allow you to desire and experience the reality that nature wants to bring you to.
And we go through this process over and over again on different developmental degrees. You will eventually realize that this is how nature works with us all the time about everything. The problem is that we keep looking for satisfaction from self-interest and the egoistic fulfillment part of life. This is where all the pain we experience comes from.
Kabbalah helps us learn how to work with this enormous force of nature that creates the desire in us that we can either throw away in this cyclical sense of emptiness where we do not feel lasting fulfillment or we can understand how to use this. After all, this is the thing that will eventually change our perception of reality.
And when the system feels us responding this way, nature will fulfill us with the next thing we need, with a different kind of perception and a new direction for our desires and so on.
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