Confronting the Ice Bath of Transformation - Balancing Desires and Resistance
What opposing forces work in us? What is the point in the heart? What is the goal of the point in the heart? How can we make our body agree to things that are not pleasant or attractive for our inherent nature? What is the best time for advancement? What is the secret of spiritual advancement? What is the spiritual environment?
An ice bath. I will get into it, although I really do not want to.
I could say that there is a part of me that desires the exhilaration, and there is a part of me that is deeply opposed to this.
This is similar to one of the problems that every person who studies the wisdom of Kabbalah will encounter at some point.
There is an ancient part of me that longs for nothing else except for simple pleasures. At the moment, I try to do something that is a little bit above the norm, even corporeal things like becoming a doctor or a lawyer or trying to get into an ice bath; this inner Mr. Hyde opposes this and longs and pushes for me to return to simple pleasures and remain like a cow that does the same thing its ancestors did for thousands of years.
Only to sit, stand, eat grass, drink water and sleep, and remain as you are lifetime after lifetime.
Mentally, the Dr. Jekyll in me wants to get into the ice bath, as it wants the exhilaration and the supposed health benefits, but the Mr. Hyde, the body is fiercely opposed to this.
Because the freezing water is cold, it is opposite to my body’s quality, which is warm at around 36 degrees Celsius.
It is obvious with corporeal things, like an ice bath and becoming a doctor, that there is a part of me that is opposed to my greater benefit because it wants to be lazy.
But when we come to the wisdom of Kabbalah, it is certainly not clear where this dichotomy is working on us. I have my “point in the heart,” which is a special desire among all of the other desires, which is just a point in an ocean of desires, and this point is built to reach the spiritual world and nothing else.
My ocean of desires, on which this little point is feebly floating, their job is to keep me in this world forever and ever.
And like this ice bath, whose cold water is poised to make my warm body more like it, meaning colder, the wisdom of Kabbalah is poised to make my desires to receive more like the quality of the Creator, more like bestowal.
This is why the other desires oppose it.
Once I am already in this water, there is nothing to do; the water will already work on me and make me cold, and it will influence me with its effect.
Similarly, the Kabbalah books and lessons, with the force in them that is called the “Ohr Makif” (Surrounding Light), will work on me, will work on my desires, making billions of changes in me, which changes I might not even perceive. But this force works, and it changes me, and it makes me more and more like the Creator.
But how am I going to be studying on days when I do not feel like studying? How am I going to put myself into this bath?
There is something that I can do, even though my body really opposes it. I can use all of my wisdom and intelligence to simply turn off my brain, stop thinking, and just get in.
It sounds simple, but this is a big secret to spiritual advancement because spiritual advancement does not happen in times when I am really motivated as much as it happens with all of the other times which constitute most of my life.
It is when I am distracted washing dishes or mowing the lawn and driving my car on the highway.
I can always put in an earbud in order to listen to a lesson, a video, or an audiobook from the authentic wisdom of Kabbalah.
This works on me in the same way that I could have no knowledge about them, but as if it is an ice bath and I inevitably get colder by sitting in the bath, I could still get what the wisdom of Kabbalah wants to give me by simply being in it.
Each time I immerse myself in this spiritual environment, this little point in the heart floating on an ocean of egoistic desires, gains strength. This means that more and more of the desire to receive that was initially opposed starts to change and feel that this trajectory towards the upper world is actually beneficial, even for its egoistic calculations.
Even this Mr. Hyde in me agrees with the spiritual path.
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