ALAIN DE BOTTON: WE LOOK FOR FAMILIARITY NOT HAPPINESS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Alain de Botton views the world in a way that is profound yet easy to understand; a modern-day philosopher and essayist, he set up the School of Life, which explores self-understanding and aims to educate people on the aspects of life we don’t get taught at school - like relationships, careers, anxiety, ageing and so much more. I had the honour of sitting down with Alain to chat, and am so pleased it was recorded as I’ll be listening back to this episode aplenty. What is love? How do we navigate heartbreak? Why is our childhood so informant on the rest of our lives? How do we sit with ourselves? And while we’re at it - what actually is the meaning of life? Alain talks me through why we experience the ‘ick’, the emotional burdens parents project onto their children, and how breakdowns can be breakthroughs. He also helps me understand better my own relationship, examining how attachment styles and past experiences can shape the way we love. This conversation is rich in kindness and full of appreciation for the complexities of being a human. 00:00 What is the meaning of life? 00:45 Finding the extraordinary with the ordinary 3:30 An exercise that can help with anxiety 07:00 How difficult self-awareness is 08:50 What Jamie was like as a child 10:20 Why funny people often come from sad childhoods 12:50 Looking for familiarity not happiness in relationships 18:00 Examining Jamie’s relationship through attachment styles 21:45 Acknowledging a relationship is between two broken people 23:00 Why asking ‘How are you mad?’ on a date can help 25:00 Best way to diffuse an argument with a partner 26:30 The worst heartbreak comes from the nice ones 29:20 How to become the best version of yourself 31:20 Our past can explain how we act in our current relationships 36:45 What has led me to do what I do 39:20 Life is about deepening time not just lengthening it 40:40 Ways to help when feeling mentally unwell 48:30 Breakdowns can actually be breakthroughs 50:15 Why read my new book ‘A Therapeutic Journey’ 52:00 Final eight questions #RAGNBONEMAN #GREATCOMPANYPODCAST #JAMIELAING -- If you enjoyed this episode, please click follow - we have so many great guests like this one, you won’t want to miss out! -- You can also follow us on: Instagram | TikTok | @greatcompanypodcast -- THE CREDITS: Exec Producer: Jemima Rathbone Assistant Producer: Gurlina Heer Video: Jake Ji Social Media: Laura Coughlan Great Company is an original podcast from JamPot