Florida cops shoot at unarmed man after being spooked by an acorn

Deputy Jesse Hernandez and Sergeant Beth Roberts of the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office had been called for a domestic violence call. One Marquis Jackson had been terrorizing his (former, presumably) girlfriend by stealing her car and honking the horn all night, as well as sending her threatening text messages. Jackson, who had been found with a gun suppressor (but no gun) was arrested, handcuffed and deposited in the back of their patrol car. It was only upon reapproaching the patrol car to conduct a second search that all hell broke loose. Hernandez heard a loud noise and was floored by an impact to his shoulder. His lightning quick reflexes kicked into action as he stopped, dropped and rolled. He managed to cross almost the entire street via the medium of unnecessary rolling, only to pull out his gun and discharge an entire clip into his own car. Sergeant Roberts, hearing the evolving shootout, came in as backup, emptying her entire gun into the car (which, we should remind you, contained a handcuffed suspect). In the aftermath of over two dozen shots fired, Hernandez was found to be uninjured (save for some scrapes from his unnecessary combat rolling across half of Florida). A review of the bodycam footage found that an acorn had fallen next to him, which he, somehow, mistook for being shot in the shoulder. Hernandez resigned from the police, and an investigation found his reaction to being near an acorn ‘excessive.’ Fortunately, despite emptying 17 bullets into his own car, he managed to miss Jackson entirely.