Thieves crash into store in ‘epic’ clothing heist

In an epic and daring heist in Chicago, a gang of seasoned, highly intelligent criminals pulled off a robbery so brazen it defies classification. The thieves used the almighty power of a small, stolen hatchback car to ram their target, allowing them full access in order to commit their nefarious deeds. What was that target, you ask? Clothing. They were robbing a small, streetwear clothing store that sold novelty, oversized hoodies and basketball paraphernalia. After demolishing the front of the store live on CCTV, the gang emerged from the vehicle shaken, but determined to see their plan through to the end. They proceeded part way into the store, where they made off with several coats and searched in vain for the cash register, in a daring attempt to steal a slice of the epic profits that only Big Clothing can generate. Partially successful, the group fled in not one but two Jeeps. Police are now investigating the incident.